It just amazes me how some women say they want a man that makes them feel safe and protected, and then proceed to emasculate them by demanding full, absolute control over their combined income.
In our little love-nest/household, I pay for most expenses including the rent, utilities, groceries, and furnishings. One evening, the Wife told me that she had paid our part-time helper for the three hours of work she had put in that morning. So I took out some cash to pay her back.
"Do you know that Joanne makes Alfred hand over ALL his salary every month ?" the Wife said playfully, referring to her best friend and her husband. "See how nice I am to you ?"
"Oh yeah. You're so nice to me by comparison" I replied.
"Oh yeah ? She might as well cut his balls off and hang them off her Birkin bag !" I thought.
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About Me
- littlecartnoodles
- A Singaporean "migrant worker" enjoying freedom and independence in HK, but missing the niceties of home : spicy makan and Singlish-speaking company.
18 comments:
now, this is one thing i'll never understand about women. the part about taking the husband's salary.
i live with my man. we're not the sort to split 50-50 over everything. we kinda pick up the tab as and when for each other. i confess he picks up my tab and our tab MOST of the time.
but i don't need him to like...pay me back if i fork out money for something.
i don't want to know how much he earns, i don't want to know how much he spends, i don't want to know how much is the monthly credit card bill. frankly, i don't care about these stuff.
i just need him NOT to be in any sort of debt and afford our lifestyle. good enough for me. simply because whatever our lifestyle, i can afford to pay my share. so i expect him to do the same.
I'm with you LCN. I don't understand the women who it, and the men who acquiesce. But I guess they are made for each other then.
Bah.
after giving a expensive seafood dinner treat to my
brother and his family.
i saw my nephew wanting to sit
on the toy ride machine outside the restuarant. As i
did not have a dollar coin. i asked
my sister in law she got or not
she laughed loudly in a most scarcastic manner and said
"i got no money as i never bring my wallet out when i out with the family". i believe now there is alot of ladies with such thinking when it comes to $.
your $ is her $ but her $ is her $
my colleague told me her wife was very upset and nagged all the way
back home when she was ask to pay for a family meal as he did not have enuf cash. He quickly went to the atm nearby to get $$ to pay her. he told me is there love?
Sorry men, but coming from a lady here, though lesbian, I'd seriously advice to dump these women.
They are beasts....
Bra burning women evangelists (sic?) screaming for equal rights is just, a huge facade.
imp : I forgot to mention that Joanne does so partly because she thinks Alfred tends to waste money on frivolous stuff like A Bathing Ape clothes (as opposed to sensible investments like Hermes bags) and they are saving up to buy a home.
But she can show more respect to him by agreeing on a fixed contribution to a joint account every month. Instead of giving him an allowance like he's some kid, he gets to keep whatever (little) balance he has after paying into the housing fund and then spend it on his toys.
cour : Yeah, I suppose if the man allows himself to be financially subjugated, he's a pussy in the first place.
anon : I understand that most wives/girlfriends like to feel that they're taken care of. So the wife in your story must have felt embarrassed about her husband not having enough cash - goodness, what would people say ? Does she have to pay for the baby's milk powder as well ? But if she had to make such a big deal out of it then the marriage must as well be over.
fresh fry : Somehow I see fewer feminists here in HK. Having a rich husband and not having to work is like a badge of honour here.
lcn, my colleque'family ate at a
small popular restaurant. He found
out that they only accept cash
payment and the bill for the
dinner was about $150/-
He ask her wife for $50/- as he
got not enuf cash to pay.
He said the wife gave a long face
and start to nag that he pay her
back $ all the way home in the car
he was thinking of paying her back tomorrow. however to avoid seeing her upset wife face, he had to go to the atm near his house to withdraw cash late at nite to pay her.
begining of the marriage she was so
loving and not calculative but after 5 years money face started showing.
like u he pays for everythg in the house.
she only use her $ for buying thgs
for the kids.
anon
Some men are probably not very good with purse strings...
The older generation women takes care of the household finances, scrimping and saving every cent made.
Haiz... to each (man), his own (woman)...
I'm a lady & I sometimes read some men this way. Some men are "大男人" aka chauvinistic. They like their women dependent on them, having their women a weaker earning power. or rather, lesser spending power.
Is it a sense of security?
As a lady, i can tell you some women feels very insecure about their men having money by their side. Bcos they are afraid that they will have finances to 養小老婆. so they try to prevent it by controlling their men's finances, so their men have no extra finances to 養小老婆.
it's sad, but true. What to do? Haiz...
Fat-House, pardon me, but if tat's the case, why stick with him? or marry him in the 1st place?
in my view, a man's able to stray if he is bend on it. men whose wife tied his finances down will be able to run away too.
Yeah. If a man wants to stray but he does not have enough money to keep a mistress, then he'll go for cheap hookers !
Seriously, if my wife is a great investor then I'd willingly give up a big part of my pay packet for her to grow our wealth. But there's a big difference between contributing towards a joint effort, and getting your salary requisitioned.
As a lady, I do not wish to see myself, having to control my husband $$$ in future. Isn't it annoy already when you have to take care of yr own $$$ (like how much you can spend and how many you have to save). So I dont think I will want to 'control' much about how my partner should spend his own hard-earned $$$.
But definitely I will not like to have a husband who do not know how to handle his own finance.
Anyway, every loving story have their own story to tell when they are at this tragic stage. And it always begin with "She/he used to be so loving xxx years ago.....
LCN: same view here.
That's the thing i dun understand about finances in a marriage. Do I pick up the tab only for small stuff & my man pick up the tab for big stuff? What if we are both earning about the same? Isn't this unfair for the guy? If he spends so much on his family, then what does he have left to spend for himself?
My fren's hubby pay evertything for their wedding, she did not had to fork out a single cent. At the honeymoon shortly, she get to spend the money "earned" from the wedding mostly on herself. Then what about the guy!!??
So if you ask what's right & what's wrong, i dunno. That's why i say, to each (man), his own (woman).
If I am a guy & my wife ask to have my whole salary, i will ask her for what? Then i'll ask her if she's willing to give me her whole salary to control, then i am 1000% sure she will give me the dirty look & i will not hear of that anymore...
then again, i am not a representative of all women. like my ex BF said, i am different from alot of women he met... though i never got to ask him how different...hahaha
again... to each (man), his own (woman)
I think trust is the basic of everything isn't it? If the man is so stupid to keep a second wife. Go on and congrats that slut and just give her the man. No point keeping it.
As for allowance for the husband only, i think it is an insult. Just let him manage his own money for goodness sake. If he is so immature and spend until the last cent, dump him for good.
help!
my galfriend buys less than
$5/- gifts for me. how i knows she tells me how much they costs.
chocolate, made in china shorts, etc. walau eh, i gave her gifts of few $100 over. she now pester me
to buy her a handphone and say i stingy. i act blur
to dump or not to dump that is
the question.
Hand over all salary? Now still got "this song to sing" meh?
My partner always tells his friends he is with me because i am not just low maintanance", but I'm actually "no maintanance"
Think i need to learn from your friend Joanne
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