Hello, again ... ...

Since I am going to spend quite a bit of dough on the wedding, I might as well milk every available ounce of benefit (in Cantonese : jeok-soh 著數) out of my expenditure.

So I've given THEM another chance.



5X bonus points during the first three months leh. Plus, it's a charge card so I can put the whole banquet bill on it and pay it off later after I have banked in the gifts from friends and relatives.

With a typical credit card (like MasterCard), I'd have to top up the account with cash beforehand so that my credit limit would be enough to cover the bill. Not very ideal for my cashflow.

Tail-gater Deterrent

Dodging Red Bombs

During the past four weeks or so, L and I have been giving out the invitations to our wedding - some by hand, the others through the mail. Because our wedding date will fall on a Friday, and we needed time to prepare the invitations, we had sent e-mails to our friends asking them to keep themselves free on our wedding day.

Most of our friends have been great - they were able to confirm their attendance and volunteered to help out on that day.

Some gave us their congratulations and apologised that they would have to miss it because of a pre-arranged business trip, or a prior appointment. No worries there. We have more people that we wish to invite than the number of seats available and we really appreciated the early notice so that we could invite those friends on our "reserve list".

I appreciate the fact that unless the bridal couple is a close friend or relative, getting invited to a wedding dinner can put a significant strain on the pocket. The cost of my Chinese wedding dinner is close to HK$1,000 (S$200) per head, before service charges and tips.

That's twice the average in Singapore, right ? (Although the quality of the food in HK is way better)

Note that L and I had not chosen a particularly lavish package - that is the average at many five-star hotels in Hong Kong. In fact, that is the basic package when we enquired at the likes of the Four Seasons, Grand Hyatt and the Shangri-La when we were looking for a venue.

(At this point, you must be thinking, "Well, serves you right for choosing to have your wedding at a big hotel !" To be honest, I did have second thoughts about the format of our wedding. But I know that, for "face" reasons, our parents were going to demand a full-blown conventional wedding dinner anyway. And L and I have not been imaginative enough to come up with alternative ideas. So resistance would have been futile - we'll just make the most of it and try to have a good time with our friends.)

As most of you would know, when you attend a wedding dinner it is the unwritten rule that your red packet should at least help the couple recover the cost of having you there. We all have friends who are the go-to experts when we need to know the "market rate" for a wedding dinner at a certain hotel, country club or restaurant.

I used to think that guests should not be pressured into doing that - let them give what is reasonable and acceptable by prevailing social norms. If my host is serving US$1,000 bottles of Cristal champagne and free-flow caviar, why should I be made to pay for all that ?

Now that I am going to be the host and signing the big bill at the end of the evening, I still feel that way. Although that belief is now combined with the HOPE that my guests will be generous enough and not see the red packet as the price of their meal but as a gift for us to start our new life together.


=======================

So what made me write all that ?

Earlier today in the office :

LCN : "Hi, X ! Did you see my e-mail ? Will you be able to attend my wedding ? I'm collating the RSVP for my fiancee ..."

X (co-worker) : "Er ... umm ... well ... heheh - I'm trying to schedule a business trip right on that day ... hehe ... "


Dude, there's a very fine line between "Aww, X is so playful and funny" and "Nabeh, don't fucking waste my time !" It was quite obvious that he had planted himself on the latter side.

If X does not feel like attending my wedding, I would have been perfectly happy to accept a cop-out excuse. Sorry, but I already have a business trip. Or, I have another wedding to attend elsewhere in Hong Kong. Or, a close relative will be in town that week. That way, I can send an invite to a friend on my reserve list. I am not hard up for your red packet. I just need to know if you will be occupying that seat at that table, instead of someone else.

I have no qualms in saying that I have given such white lies before. A number of years ago, during a period when I was quite broke, I had to turn down an invitation because I knew that I could not afford the S$80 red packet. I told the host, "Sorry, but my good friend from school is also getting married on that day and I'll be helping out." I also gave her a congratulatory card (S$8) as a gesture of my wishes.

The host was disappointed that I could not go, but I was sure that she was grateful for the quick response and no doubt she had someone else to invite in my place.

Analysis Paralysis

When you are faced with five choices of table linens and five of seat covers for your wedding dinner, and numerous possible floral centrepiece designs (with varying additional charges), it is not the right time to assert your masculinity and say, "Aiyah, you decide. Anything will do."



The inevitable, dreaded response will be, "So ... you don't care how the most important day of our lives will turn out ?"



The right answer is, "Hmm ... The reddish-gold table linen for the head table will be perfect. It's elegant and gives a warm vibe for a winter wedding. Not as dowdy as maroon. It also accentuates the pink rose petals very well.

The floral centrepiece in the tall, bowl-shaped vase has the "coolness" of glass that can be balanced against the warmth of the reddish-gold ... ... and it's also not too tall as to block the views of guests carrying on a conversation with someone across the table.

We can use the cream-silver linen for the guest tables - it would be a smoother transition to the gold of the head tables and would make our guests feel more special. White would be too great a contrast. We can use the light gold seat covers for the guest tables so that there would be sparkles of gold all around the ballroom."



But don't stick to the same lines every single time. After a while, she may go, "Hmmm ... let me ask my mum what she thinks ..."

Or worse, "You are so full of bull. Let me decide and then you can pay the bill."

New Restaurant at IFC Mall, Hong Kong

I had to explain to L why it's not a good idea to have her picture taken next to the sign.

(Ubiquitous Wikipedia entry)